The stories of these niggas
by twerk4dtg
Summary: This is advice from some real niggas
1. Chapter 1: dating: nigga dont do it

The Tales of these Niggas

Chapter 1: Dating: nigga don't do it

Jermaine: "just fuck that bitch #realniggaadvice"

Alexa: "Just don't do it bruh"

Why date? Why not to date… becuz it is the #1 on a thousand ways to die

Jermaine: "A thousand ways to die alone"

We have come up with basic rules on dating.

#1 avoid at all costs

#2 if you are gonna date have money (these girls want everything)

#3 if you aint got money, go back to #1

#4 if you do got money then make sure she doesn't use you for it

Jermiane: "make sure she don't eat you out of money"

#5 all girls are crazy, pick the amount of crazy you can handle

Alexa: "there is sane bitch on this planet"

#6 don't love hoes (there is a difference between a hoe and a real woman)

Jermaine: "All girls are hoes"

Alexa: "suck a dick Jermaine"

#7 don't cheat (and if you do cheat, don't get caught)

Jermaine: "haven't got caught yet"

Alexa: "stfu Jermaine"

#8 masterbation is key (don't be shy, it's better than being pregnant)

Jermaine: "niggas…"

#9 don't let a guy steal yo gurl

Jermaine: "If you see a guy talkin to yo gurl cut that niggah off"

#10 if you feel you cant live with that bitch/nigga then drop they ass quick

Alexa: "Don't get attached to someone that could hurt you"

Jermaine: "You will get over them sooner or later #wedontlovethesehoes"


	2. Chapter 2: Masterbating

The Story of these niggas #2

Chapter 2: Masterbating

Alexa: "Don't get caught"

Jermaine: *insert molester moon*

Rules on masterbating for the dumb niggas

#1 DO NOT GET CAUGHT

Alexa: "Last thing you want is for your mom to beat the shit out of you with your privates hanging out for the world to see"

#2 If you do get caught, don't lie, just say your masterbating

#3 If you don't say feel like saying you were masterbating then go back to #1

Jermaine: "Jesus take the wheel"

#4 If you are going to watch porn, watch the right kind

Jermaine: "Alexa shut up. Rule #1 watch quality porn. Rule #2 Alexa get on my dick. Rule #3 don't watch porn outloud"

Alexa: "Jermaine stfu"

#5 Don't watch porn that makes you dick sag. Go back to #4

Alexa: "Nobody wants a saggy dick like Jermaine"

#6 Don't watch porn in public/library

Alexa: "who tf does that?"

Jermaine: "Me…"

#7 If you can get nudes then get them

Jermaine: "Like the ones I get from Alexa. Thank you Alexa!"

Alexa: *poker face*

#8 Don't lie about you dick size, cuz when you tryin to fuck and she sees you was lyin you aint getting laid for shit

#9 Don't get a bitch pregnant… just masterbate

Jermaine: "So all yall niggas who think the pussy too good to pull out, yall dumb as fuck"

Alexa: "Frfr"

#10 If you think masterbating is stupid then you dumb af. Masterbating is an alternative and yall need to realize that

Jermaine: "real niggas talkin, sit yo ass down"

Alexa: "Yall niggas aint ready"


	3. Chapter 3: School

The story of these niggas

Chapter 3: School

Alexa: "shit finna get real"

Jermaine: "Bitches, thots, fake niggas, and Alexa"

Alexa: "tf does that mean?"

Jermaine: "Means you a fake nigga"

Alexa: "See me with the hands"

Jermaine: "You don't want these hands"

#1 Keep your mouth shut. Don't talk to anybody. Don't look at anybody. And don't even break yo pencil cuz you gonna have to sharpen it and niggas gonna look at your ass

Jermaine: "#2 Alexa turn your video on so I can look at your sexy ass"

Alexa: "Umm…"

#2 Trust nobody

Jermaine: "Even that nigga you think is nice, he actually fucked yo bitch last night. And that sweet lookin bitch in the corner, yeah she be workin the pole on Saturday nights"

#3 Nasty ass bathrooms

Jermaine: "Yall niggas that be tryin to fuck girls in the bathroom… yall need to fuck in the girls bathroom where that shit smells like fabreez. Boys bathroom got piss everywhere"

Alexa: "niggas just hold yo shit in until you get home"

#4 If you not gonna do yo homework then have someone you can copy off of

Jermaine: "Not that nigga that just scribble shit down"

Alexa: "Copy that nigga that knows wtf is goin on"

#5 Pay attention in class at least half the time. Them bitch ass teachers gonna call on yo ass whether you like it or not. So try not to look dumb when she/he do.

Alexa: "Don't even have to raise yo hand to get called on these days"

Jermaine: "really nigga…"

#6 Be open to your peers

Jermaine: "Being open to your peers can actually help you. Such as, a nigga tried to fight me one day. Since I don't promote violence I gave this nigga two choices. Either you beat my ass and I get off on that shit and masturbate to it later. Or to get yo ass beat by a gay nigga and be known as the one nigga who got his ass beat by a gay dude. Either way your reputation isn't looking to good"

Alexa: "um… Jermaine?"

#7 avoid thirsty ass nigga/bitches

Alexa: "I don't think I need to explain this one"

#8 Snitches

Alexa: "Once a snitch always a snitch. Don't trust that bitch with shit."

Jermaine: "Bruh we all had that one nigga who was like " OMG she's using her phone" nigga shut the fuck up let me enjoy my phone"

#9 DO NOT EAT THAT NASTY ASS CAFETERIA FOOD

Alexa: "One time I split my hot dog in half and the meat inside was purple… PURPLE. THE FUCK KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT?"

Jermaine: "That ain't nothing compared to what happened to me"

Alexa: "tf happen to you?"

Jermaine: "We had burritos… the beans were roaches… BABY FUCKING ROACHES"

Alexa: "….."

#10 Brush yo teeth NIGGA

Jermaine: "Nobody want to talk to talk to you when you breath smells like the bubonic plague. Smellin like Kungamungus"

Alexa: "Nobody wants to die smellin yo breath. And if you know yo breath stank af then don't fucking talk in my face with yo demonic breath. Smellin like death and hot ass"

Alexa: "Comment on what you guys want us to do next"


End file.
